Monthly Archives: June 2012

A Vast Expanse of Possibilities

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Ink and watercolour wash drawing of the Golden Hinde in London

(From September last year; a sign of things to come.)

My dear sweet brother picked me up from my final day of work today.

“What have I done?!” I asked him in the car, staying mostly very calm, “I’ve quit my job!”

“You’ve quit a job” he corrected me. Striking closer to the heart of the matter than he realised. Before this past couple weeks I had no idea how deeply engrained my work is to my sense of identity. It’s the job I’ve had since my first year of uni, I’ve grown up, changed and gone through so much since I was first hired as a Christmas temp back in 2007.

When I handed in my notice I felt like I’d hacked a chunk out of my persona. This realisation has made me all the more determined to find something I can do, and be proud of. Something that truly reflects me and my personal ideals.

“But… I’m unemployed!” I continued my attempt to gain sympathy.

“No, you’re merely open to new opportunities,” he corrected me again, with wisdom beyond his years (I like to think he got that from me).

He’s right of course, and as long as I think of it like that, I’m filled with excitement rather than panic.

I’m free!

A secret little book…

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Today, I decided to take this month’s theme of Jump into a different direction. I’m choosing to interpret it as doing things outside of my comfort zone, so today I’m going to say for the first time here, that I love to draw. I constantly doubt my skills, but I want to grow them till I stop doubting so much.

Watercolour and ink drawing of door in Vintry gardens, St Albans

I would love to find a way to merge photography and drawing, so far I have done so somewhat in my website, every element of which I entirely hand drew, but I’m constantly looking for new ideas.

Keep reading for more…

My Leap

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seagull soaring into sunset over St James' Park, London

(Photo taken at: 1/1600, f/6.3 , ISO 400)

Oops, so I signed up for Nablopomo again this month, and on the first day I entirely forgot what the date was. I only remembered about five seconds ago. Well, time to catch up.

In Nablopomo there are themes for each month’s writing. These are to be used if helpful, or ignored if not. Last time I attempted this challenge, I ignored the theme almost entirely. This month I feel it calling to me. June’s theme is “Jump”. This feels very fitting to me, as I sit here with three days left of work, and a gaping chasm where just a few weeks ago there was stability.

People are responding to my rather unexpected decision to leave my job in very different ways. Some are slightly stunned, although they politely project their horror merely from their eyes and haven’t told me outright that I’m an idiot. However, a little to my surprise (I expected a more, “now be sensible about this…”), and to my unending gratitude, everyone important is behind me completely. They understand how important this jump is to me, and they’re supporting me in every way they can. They’re wonderful, each and every one of them.

So many books, blogs, and other inspirations that I’ve read over the years quote, “Leap, and the net will appear…” I would read this, sigh dramatically, tell myself that was meant for “other” people, and move on to other thoughts.

Now I’ve done it.

I leapt, and I’m praying that the net will appear.